JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
