umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize