I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
