if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We were destined to go to rehab together
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't want my vagina anymore.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
