I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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