Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
