Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
