Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Couch. On fire.
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