i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize