girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
