dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
