Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
