Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We got so high we made milksteak
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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