Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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