I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you had me at cake vodka
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize