He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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