i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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