I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize