thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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