she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
