butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
