I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
