Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize