Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
They are going to name an STD after you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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