I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
