Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize