I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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