YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wear drunk well.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
