Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
