I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize