her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
