I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
