why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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