OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You ate ashes out of my bong
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
