oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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