she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
