I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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