I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I love you. Go after that dick
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
