I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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