please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
