I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize