I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
two words...techno handjob
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
