My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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