I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
