Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
