apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
