wake up i wanna do it froggy style
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
