I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
