i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
