Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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