ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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