I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
