I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
