i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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