Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
