spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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