There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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