I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
